Thursday 3rd May 2018
Juventus defender Alex Sandro is coming to the Premier League. But instead of Chelsea, the 27-year-old prefers the grotesque pleasure of working with Jose Mourinho at Manchester United.
Manchester Evening News
Christian Eriksen, 26, will swap the delights of Haringey for the 16th arrondissement as well doubling his £100k salary when PSG lodge their £100m bid with Tottenham.
Manchester City like their wingers to be Bundesliga trained and are making a move for Bayer Leverkusen wideboy Leon Bailey, 20.
Claude Puel is…well, you know the rest.
DC United’s prescriptive criteria for a new striker – 34-years-old, Hispanic, and club legend – led them to Atletico Madrid’s Fernando Torres. Or Boca Juniors’ Carlos Tevez.
Anthony Martial, 22, can stay at Manchester United and be a centre-forward if he wants. Has anyone told Romelu Lukaku?
Or Marcus Rashford, 20. He’s being offered a new long-term deal but he won’t be able to play as a centre-forward…
Marouane Fellaini likes ‘will he/won’t he’ stories and reckons he has Manchester United over a barrel because they’ve left it to the last minute to offer him a new deal. There’s no way he’ll see himself as getting a deal because there’s no-one else…
Chelsea hope to find another club with more money than sense by slapping a £10m price-tag on Marco van Ginkel, 25, whose Premier League career adds up to 660 seconds.
Mario Lemina, 24, is only thinking about Southampton’s future and not his own. He’ll wait until they get relegated before telling them he’s going to do one.
Everyone’s favourite Gruffalo Sean Dyche will soon be singing the praises of Bristol City left-back Joe Bryan if Burnley can find £6m to sign him.
QPR didn’t let on that they wanted to sign Brighton centre-back Uwe Hunemeier, 32, but Chris Hughton thanked the local paper for telling him.
Brighton and Hove Independent
West Bromwich Albion want to speak to Brentford manager Dean Smith and Leicester City assistant manager Michael Appleton about taking Disco Dad Al Pardew’s old job.
And finally…Rafa Benitez will sign a new deal with Newcastle United if they give him a job description and guarantee how much money he will have for his transfer budget. He also wants a Domino’s pizza every Tuesday.