7th January 2019
Juventus are bracing themselves for PSG, Manchester City and Bayern Munich to come a-calling for Paulo Dybala, 25.
Barcelona won’t sell Denis Suarez, 24, to Arsenal this winter despite the media telling everyone that a deal is as good as done.
The apparently cash-strapped Gunners aren’t having a lot of luck. No £20m Suarez and no £35m Cengiz Under, 21, from AS Roma unless they stump up £45m.
Crystal Palace need to invest in something called a computer for Roy Hodgson. The Eagles boss has “never heard of” Josh Maja, 20. If only he had Netflix, he could watch the documentary series on Sunderland and their woes last season.
Liverpool want Abdulkadir Omur, 19, the “Turkish Messi” wants them. Whether Trabzonspor wants to sell, well, nobody’s asked them yet.
Today’s ludicrous rumour has Manchester United chasing Barcelona midfielder Philippe Coutinho, 26. Yes, that Philippe Coutinho who left Liverpool last year after a lot of faffing around.
Andy Carroll, 30, is to rejoin Newcastle United from West Ham United this transfer window. That’s if he doesn’t injure himself picking up the pen.
Things are so bad at Real Madrid that they are thinking of re-appointing recently-sacked ex-Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho. He’s sharpening his thumbs ready for El Clasico as we speak…
…but just in case a change of managers doesn’t work, Real are thinking of signing good players. Tottenham Hotspur midfielder Christian Eriksen, 26, is their first target and they are preparing a £100m deal for the Dane.