Wednesday 6th December 2017
In the finest madcap traditions of Benny Hill, AC Milan are chasing Olivier Giroud, 31, and want the Arsenal striker on a six-month loan deal.
“Klopp says Coutinho might leave” shocker. In a move which will cause heartbreak to millions of Liverpool fans, Philippe Coutinho, 25, is set to leave Anfield according to Reds manager Jurgen Klopp. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…
It warms the cockles of your heart to learn football isn’t just about money. Lionel Messi, 30, turned down £850,000 per week and a £88m signing-on bonus from Manchester City. Don’t spoil the moment by wondering what it took to get him to sign a new contract with Barcelona…
“Your next station stop is Arsenal. Could platform staff help the Spanish gentleman, Senor Guardiola, with his suitcase stuffed with £50m in used £5 notes. He also needs a reservation for the return to Manchester City for fellow traveller, Mr Alexis Sanchez, 28. Journey to be made in January.”
So, Giroud out, Sanchez gone; must be time for a Mesut Ozil story. No? OK, Arsenal striker Theo Walcott, 28, is set to play for Sam Allardyce at Everton. Which is one more game than he managed to play for Big Sam when Allardyce was England boss.
Chelsea want Alex Sandro, 26, and Alex Sandro wants to leave Juventus. Football transfers are so simple…
Dundee starlet Jack Hendry, 22, is attracting the attention of Crystal Palace, Newcastle United and Southampton. Which is nice. Ish.